Beauty in Battle Podcast

The Four Habits Of A Joy-Filled Marriage

October 24, 2023 Episode 89
The Four Habits Of A Joy-Filled Marriage
Beauty in Battle Podcast
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Beauty in Battle Podcast
The Four Habits Of A Joy-Filled Marriage
Oct 24, 2023 Episode 89

Today's episode is based on a great book by the same title "The Four Habits Of A Joy-Filled Marriage" and how you can experience joy in your marriage by incorporating four simple habits into your daily life. 

Built on the foundation that love is all about attachment, the authors show us that the more joy you build into your marriage the more you’ll feel in love.

It's loaded with brain science and all the latest research on what makes couples tick. 

So join us as we discuss these powerful habits and ways we can use them in our relationships. 


Show Notes Transcript

Today's episode is based on a great book by the same title "The Four Habits Of A Joy-Filled Marriage" and how you can experience joy in your marriage by incorporating four simple habits into your daily life. 

Built on the foundation that love is all about attachment, the authors show us that the more joy you build into your marriage the more you’ll feel in love.

It's loaded with brain science and all the latest research on what makes couples tick. 

So join us as we discuss these powerful habits and ways we can use them in our relationships. 


So today we're talking about the four habits of joy filled marriages. And that is actually the title of a book, a really good book that I have yet to read, but I have read the reviews on it, and I've read the synopsis and summary of it, and it is strong. It is really strong. You just showed me this, and we've been reading up on it, and I'm like, this is good stuff.

This has really, really been helpful for me. And I love it because it's all based on brain science. Yeah, which you know I'm all about. Yeah, we all want to figure stuff out. Why do I do it? I dove in and um, Tori and I both, and we, we're going to share these with you, the, the four habits. And, uh, we're going to give you some of the brain science that we've learned through this book.

And, uh, and we're going to talk about it. And so it's really, it's really strong, but before we do, I got a great song. I picked this one out. And this one is a country song, which love country. It's newer country, younger guy named Hunter Hayes sings this song still fallen. Oh, I love this one. And he's, he's good.

I like the kid. You know, his voice isn't my favorite. Like I like John Michael Montgomery and Garth Brooks and George straight, but his voice isn't my favorite. It's not just a young kid. No, but listen, the, the words are awesome. I think it's, his voice is great. He's talented. All right, let's show him. All right, here you go.

Ready? After all this time, you'd fuse to the pull of your gravity. After flying so high for so long, who would

think I'm Still falling. Still falling. Such a great mindset in marriage. Yeah. Keep falling. His voice was good. Yeah. His voice was great. It was really good actually. Um, yeah, but I love that. I'm still falling. It's like after all this time, you would think that I'd be used to the pull of your gravity, but I'm not.

Like I'm still falling. That's just so cool. And it's all about a mindset. Yes. And that's why I really like what we're going to talk about. In our podcast today, the four habits of joy filled marriage, because this is built on the foundation that love is an attachment and the more joy you build into your marriage, the more you'll feel in love, right?

Right. So if you're like, well, I haven't felt in love in a long time. Then what the authors of this book, which is Marcus Warner and, and, uh, Chris Courtney, uh, what they would tell you is that you need to build joy into your relationship that you need to actually like, enjoy time with each other. That if you build joy into your marriage, then you'll start feeling in love.

And then they, uh, have this little phrase they call a joy gap and a joy gap is the length of time between moments of shared joy. So the goal in marriage, according to the book, is to shorten the joy gap so that you're always in a place of experiencing joy with your spouse. I love it. And when you experience that, then you're going to feel in love.

It gives us agency. It says, okay, there's something we can do about it. Like the joy gap has been too long. It's now we, we can do something about that and take action. Yeah. And so they start out talking about some brain science and here's a little bit of brain science. I'm not going to get into all of it.

Maybe, maybe on another podcast, we'll share some of the other things we discovered, the brain science that the, that we've learned from the book and some other things that's really important with relationships, but they talk about this thing called the brain magnet. And the brain magnet is a term to describe your drive to bond with other people.

And everybody has a desire to bond with other people. You know, like I really, like, I obviously enjoy my bond with Tori and our kids, but I want to bond with my other family members. I want to bond with some of my buddies. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like, bonding with other people is something that God put inside of you.

And they talk about how, uh, you come out of the womb craving attachment. Mm. So literally like a baby and that's why baby cries, right? A baby's looking to be attached, right? And you know, it's funny because I read in one of the reviews, Tor, I don't know if you read the same one I did, but they talked about how the book is based on attachment theory.

Oh, interesting. Yeah. Attachment. And, and Tori and I are like, that's a little bit of a trigger word for us because when we were raising our kids. We raised our kids at the time when like baby wise had just come out and it was all about like the bad parts of attachment theory. Yeah, it was more about coping strategies like, you know, teaching your kids to learn coping strategies.

Um, and really what it was doing is help is not letting them attach too much. Yeah, it's teaching your kids how to detach. Yes, and um, it kind of. Has swung the other direction. I think that, you know, there's been some issues obviously that have come from that era yeah, and now it's kind of you know, attachment theory is really big right now and All the things that I naturally wanted to do You know, people now are being praised like co sleeping and nursing until the child is way too old.

You want to stop co sleeping when the kids are teenagers. No, so we don't throw BabyWise out, you know, all of it. You know, there's obviously some good stuff. We have a lot of friends that did BabyWise and, you know, with the whole attachment thing, teach your kids how to be totally independent, which is great.

You want them to be independent, but attachment. It is something that you, you are literally wired for. Exactly. There, I just, there is such a balance that we have to be aware of that, you know, if you, if you let your child who has this need to be comforted and to be held and you say, no, you just need to learn how to be okay.

Yeah, right. Then there's going to be some detachment. You're going to learn there that that's going to be a learned behavior, right? You taught them and people aren't seeing it until the kids are way older, right? I think there was a time Tori Tori threw out all those ideas when Trey are First born was how old was he was he like four months old?

No, he's probably like six months old six months old he's crying and I'm in the living room and I'm like, honey, we just read this book, baby. Why you don't go get him? And she's like, but I just feel, you know, as a mom, there's just something I need to check on him or whatever. I was like, honey, you can't like do this.

We're going to follow this book to the T. And then after about like an hour and a half. Well, there, yeah, there was like this whole idea that you, you know, at first you can go in and you can check on them and you can comfort them and say, it's okay, you're okay, but if that doesn't work, then they're, they're a strong willed child that just strengthens their will because you're giving into them, then you need to just let them actually cry it out.

However long it takes, it's. So we did this whole process, like step by step. And finally we get to the point where, you know, Jason's like, okay, it's saying you have to let him, him cry. So we let him cry for, I think it was like. An hour and a half, it might've been close to two hours, really, really long. And I was my, there was something I was dying inside, literally.

I think I was crying. I was like, Stan strong tour. And Jason was like, we got this. Finally, he stopped crying the minute, like it had been like five minutes. He stopped crying. I ran in just to check on him because something inside of me was like, you know, that instinct, I'm like, okay, he stopped and I go in there and he.

is hanging from his leg. His leg had gotten caught in the spoke of the crib and he was like hanging. It was awful. And I was like, that book was burnt the next morning. Yeah, no. No, not really. Well, he wasn't hanging outside the crib, he was still in the crib, but it was very uncomfortable for him. It was uncomfortable and he was, he needed us in any ways.

So anyway. I mean, we totally got off on a rabbit trail here, but. Um, we're talking to parents. That's when we stopped. Most everybody that we're talking to your parents. So I guess the moral of the story is take the good spit out the bad. Don't follow hook line and sink or any book out there. Just you need to go with your Holy spirit inside of you.

You have an instinct. God gave that to you for a reason and anything that would say to push through that. Yeah. I don't believe is a very wise. Yeah. And to anything that's too systemized. Like do this, then do this, then do this, then do this. Just know relationships and people are not systemized. Yes, like just use your common sense.

So, so when we approach a book like The Four Habits of Joy Filled Marriages, Yes. Yeah, let's use the good stuff. Mm hmm, right? I haven't read the The book in full. So who knows, but same thing with any book that we read, but I want to go back into the brain magnet because the brain science shows that we come out of the womb craving attachment and a joy bond is characterized by several key, key traits.

Um, let me list these real quick. Okay. So if, if you're bonded. With someone, then the authors of this book is calling that a joy bond, which means that you experienced joy together. Okay. Uh, here's some key traits that shows that you guys are on a good track. Lots of smiles. Uh, you have positive feelings when you're together, uh, or you have positive feelings, even when you're thinking about being together.

Um, you have the security to act like yourself around the other person. That's really important. That's really important. Yeah. I, I, I think, um, when spouses are too sarcastic with each other, sometimes that can cause or nitpicking every little thing and you don't have the freedom to just be yourself.

That's a sign of, of an unhealthy relationship. Yeah. So take a look at that. Another good trait is the ability to connect safely at an emotional level where you can feel emotional with each other. And then the sense. That when you're with your spouse, you're with your people. Like, if I could hang out with anybody, I'd hang out with you.

You're like my people. Now, the opposite of a joy bond is a fear bond. Um, and a fear bond looks quite different. Here's some traits that maybe you're operating out of fear in your relationship. Um, smiling is rare, where you don't smile at each other. Um, hiding emotions is commonplace. That's never good.

When you don't feel like that you can talk with your spouse about some deep emotional things, That's not good, uh, wearing masks for fear that the other person will not be happy to see you and you can't act like yourself, uh, isolation is normal where you both just kind of have your own thing. When you're avoiding each other.

Yep. And it's good for both of you to have your own thing, but you need to be able to come together. Uh, shutting down when problems arise and losing the desire to be relational, that's not a good sign. And then treating your. Your spouse more like an enemy than a friend and an enemy in the Bible is anyone who's crossed your boundary.

So you think enemy? You know, look, I've never been the enemy of my spouse. Well, if your boundaries are too high and your spouse has crossed those before, we've uh, talked with people before where, uh, and this was, this was me where one of my boundaries was we will never be late to anything when we first got married.

And I discovered that Tori did not have those, that same quality. She didn't have that same value. And so we relate to a lot of things. And for a while, man, I was livid. With her and she kind of became my enemy because she was crossing a boundary until I realized I just need to drop the that boundary Like you know what?

Let's just it's just not worth it. So now we're late some of the time We're on time some of the time there are things I think that you've compromised with me to be late to things that You know don't really matter as much to be late to and then there are things that are important commitments that are really important that That I've had to step it up with like Christmas Eve church service.

Yeah. That's a big one. Okay. Uh, now let's get into the four habits. So that's a little bit of brain science to give us kind of a foundation, but we're talking about the joy gap and shortening that joy gap. So four habits that shrink the joy gap, joy gap and, uh, make joy your default setting in marriage. So it's the four habits of joy field marriages.

Okay. Okay. Number one. Couples play together. Okay, so play together. The point here is not about what you do, but that you grow the list of ways that you guys can have fun together and that you can share life together. Like, how do you grow that list? They just list two things. I think this is cool and I'll, I'll list these two things.

Um, special events and social routines. Mm. So special events. Obviously, um, shared hobbies, um, weekly dates, they're big on weekly dates. It's so interesting that as we talk to couples, the weekly date just always comes up. It's always what couples want to do. Very few couples actually do a weekly date, but it is research backed.

It is so incredibly important that you get away weekly, right? And because you're, you may not feel like it. I mean, oftentimes you're not going to feel like it you're, you're going to be like, Oh, I don't really feel like planning something, but I know for us that when we put it on the calendar and it came.

We always had so much fun together. Like there was, it was always needed. So, it's one of those things that I would highly recommend just getting a regular babysitter. Put it on the calendar, like I said. Something that you don't really have to think about. Um, it shouldn't be that much work. Like, oh my gosh, I have to try to find a babysitter.

No, just find, try to find somebody that can. It can come a certain night of the week until it's on the schedule. You're not even thinking about it because then when it comes, it's, it, you will enjoy it. It will be pleasurable. It'll be fun. Um, and it's not something that it shouldn't be something that's so much work.

And what we have found is that people make it more work than it really should be. And then it's, then it becomes date night becomes. This thing that's not at all pleasurable because it's just so hard to find a babysitter and so well Let's you know, if you can nail down somebody that can be consistent and can come on a regular basis I promise you when that day comes You're gonna have fun it date night idea that won't cost you much money and won't take you much time Okay, go to Krispy Kreme when the hot donut now light is on get it before it goes under the glaze Bring your own cinnamon and sugar.

Yeah, put it onto the donut Eat said donut, get in the car, drive back home, or date night, or go to Krispy Kreme, get the regular Krispy Kreme donut, under the glaze, under the glaze, ask for extra glaze. Can you re dip those things? Do you, do you, Jason likes it with just the cinnamon sugar, that's good. Okay, so Tori's

right. Don't don't get overwhelmed with date night. It just make it easy. Okay. So, but they're talking about special events, shared hobbies, weekly dates, anniversary celebrations. But here's what I like what they say about, um, special events. You need to have something that you can look forward to with anticipation.

Yes. And that was so good for Tori when our kids were younger and I was out, uh, working a lot. Tori always looked forward to Friday night. Yeah. There has to be hope there has to be something that you're looking forward to something fun and that's why I think it's the social events are so important to like we're such seasoned people.

We love the different every time the season change. We're excited because we kind of know what we're looking at in the summer. We're looking forward to a few vacations that we always have plans that we have, you know, several different ones. That we're, we typically go on. Right. And then the fall comes and we're so excited about pumpkin picking and apple picking and all those like special things that we do together.

I won't go, I won't even go there. Um, and watching fall movies, you know, fall, you know, all the things that fall brings bonfires and all those fun experiences that you do together. Like there needs to be this looking forward together to those, we call them anchor. Activities, right? Like our, our kids are now in college and we're realizing the importance of anchor activities because now that they're away from it, they're talking about it.

Hey, when are we going apple picking? When are we going to be carving a pumpkin together? When are we going to, are we going to do a bonfire this fall? Like all these like anchor activities that you do year after year after year together, they become hopeful for, they become excited about. And it's the same way in our relationship.

Like, what are the things that we're doing that are fun and together on a, on a routine basis every year that we're just constantly like, Oh, Oh, it's, it's the, it's a winter. We got to do this, this, this, and this. So that's special events, you know, you in order to play together, which is the habit. Number one, play together, talking about special events.

They're also talking about social routines, which are certain things you do on a daily basis for, for the authors. Um, they list out a couple of rules. Uh, one, excuse me, they'll, they'll stop talking about problems. And tasks 30 minutes before they go to bed. Uh, rule number two, they'll play together and share appreciation before they turn off the lights.

But just, it doesn't matter what the routine is. If you have a routine, that's something different than we're going to veg in front of the TV, not say a word to each other. Like what is your routine going to be? Obviously for Tori and I, one of our routines walking around the block and we pray for our kids.

It's just going to happen. Right? Right. No, not every time we've walked around the block or some days we don't even walk around the block. The goal is to just establish some social routines that you do together. Yeah. Just some things that are staple events. Alright, so. One more thing I want to add. Um, that I think has been really important for you and I is that, you know, play together is really just anything that's pleasurable together.

Something that we enjoy, that's good, that feels good, right? That we're building these joy bonds was what they would call it. And one of those things is sometimes we really are tired. Like we've, you know, maybe we've been on a. Uh, you know, out of town for several days and we're just wiped out and we come home and we just want to veg together.

That's playing together. Like it doesn't have to, I think sometimes you think, Oh, like we have to do something exciting and fun and get dressed up and go out. No, like sometimes put your fat clothes on, sometimes playing together and sometimes it's anything that's pleasurable together. So it's like. Let's just veg and just like, let's fall asleep, you know, on the hammock or it's, it's anything relaxing to, um, and I think that sometimes you just got to take the pressure off of what it is that you're doing.

It's not like the, it doesn't have to be these like strenuous things together. It's, it could be just watching a movie together. That's why I love, yeah, you guys picking a show, you know, and getting into it. And having fun. So that's play together. That's habit. Number one is play together. Habit. Number two, listen for emotion.

Okay. The authors talk about the number one problem in marriage is communication. I think everybody out there who knows anything about marriage would say that's probably problem number one. Um, and what they talk about with listening for emotion is that you've got to learn to validate the emotion before you talk about the issue.

Tori and I cannot tell you how important this is. We've seen it with our own marriage coaching and all the couples that we've talked with over the years and at this point Of the last few decades that you have to validate the emotion before you talk about the issue, right? So validating validating doesn't mean agreeing that what someone is that with what someone is feeling, right?

You don't have to agree with it. You simply have to acknowledge that they are in fact feeling a certain way. Yes It's like, okay, Tori could say, honey, you wore that gray sweatshirt again, and I feel nauseous and I feel like I'm going to throw up. Like immediately I can go. Well, gray does, gray sweatshirt shouldn't make you feel like, you know, I can start talking about the issue or I can say, Ooh, so sorry that I made you feel that way.

Like if I felt like I was going to throw up, I would hate it. Like, okay, boom. You've just validated the emotion there. Right. Now I can go in and say, okay, now what is it about gray? Right. Because a lot of times the, the instinct is. To try to correct the problem. Yeah. You're bringing me a problem. Let me give you a solution.

Right? Mm-Hmm. , that's sometimes our natural bent would be to look for. Yeah. And this is actually kind of scientifically proven more of an, of a tendency of a ma of the male brain because they're fixers, right? Yeah. They have this like unique ability, we call it ability . There you go. Reframe it, tor to fix things, and so they're looking for.

for a solution. Yeah. And so, um, but women do it too. I do this too. I find myself doing this with the kids a lot. Like they're telling me a problem and I, and I want to help them to see every angle. I want them to help them see the view, see it from the view that I'm seeing it, which would help fix the issue.

But I need to first say, Oh, so you're feeling this, right? I need you to re like, what is the emotion? So, listen for the emotion. You're, you're trying to figure out what is the emotion behind this complaint. That's right. And you validate that by saying, Oh, so that makes you feel this way. So you, they, they feel heard.

They feel like, Oh yeah, exactly. That's how I'm feeling. Okay. And then. You can move on past that with giving a solution, but you have to start with validation and, uh, remember connect before you correct, even with your kids connect before you correct, you're talking to two people here who have done a really good job of correcting before we've connected and it is, it's not going to end up being a good thing.

Now here's a pro hack. Okay. Google this, um, when you get an opportunity, emotions wheel. So just Google the phrase emotions wheel or emotion wheel, doesn't matter if it's plural or not. And you'll see this wheel psychologists have put together that show you the, the root emotions. Okay. That will help you start to label emotions better.

Okay. So emotion wheel. So connect before you correct. So listen for the emotion and then validate the emotion before you talk about the issue. If you do that. Um, you're going to be connecting and you're going to make your relationship bigger than the problem. All right. So that's habit number two. Listen, listen for emotion.

Habit number three, appreciate daily. Obviously, I think you and I probably talk about this more than any other thing in marriage. Yeah. The, the goal of appreciating appreciation attracts resentment repels. So taking time to dwell on what you appreciate about your spouse. Yeah. That's different than. Just saying thank you for something that they do.

Yes. Appreciation dwells on who they are. Right. Right, and the authors say that it's the hidden ingredient that determines if a marriage is strong or weak. Yeah, I just think that point is so important. That gratitude, there's a difference between gratitude and appreciation. Gratitude is saying thank you.

Yep. We do this. Which is good even sometimes without even thinking you just say it. Thank you for doing that right? Appreciation is dwelling on what they that person dwelling on what you appreciate about them Yeah, this is so important in relationship. It is so important I think I've talked about this several times before but there was a time in my life where I felt Repelled by one of my kids because they I just we were just going at it all the time.

There was constant conflict And the Lord very lovingly and kindly, um, told me that I needed to dwell on the good in this child and I needed to, to, to just appreciate the good in them. I was, I had become, um, I, it'd become a habit of mine to think about all the things that they did wrong. And that repels you from, and it was not what I wanted.

And I'm like, I want a strong relationship with this child. I want them to feel loved. I want, I wanted to draw near to them. I want them to feel safe with me. Right. But by my thoughts, we're doing the very opposite of what. They were drawing the very opposite of what I wanted. They were pushing me away because I was just constantly thinking about the bad.

And so I intentionally began to just daily begin to think about the good things in that. That's good. And dwell on the good. And it drew me closer to that person, to that child. And it changed me. My relationship with them, ultimately took a lot of time, took like a lot of time of, of, of just making that habit, but the same has been true with you.

It's like the more that I take the time to think about, and we talked about, you know, set up those rhythms to help you to get into that mindset. Yeah. By listening to music that will help you appreciate, um, by maybe, you know, I don't know, having a, uh, a thank, uh, thank journal. Thank you. Thank you. Journal.

Thank you. Journal. Thank you. Journal. Yeah. Um, or, you know, spending time in every morning, you know, take the first five minutes or going to bed. Well, I love Dr. Amen, what his habit is of going to bed, he lies in bed and he goes through the day and thinks. Thanks. segments of his day everything he's thankful for and he said by the time he gets to mid afternoon he's usually asleep because there's so much to be thankful for right and that just helps him to think about and dwell about the good and the people in his life and it draws him to that draws him to them and so it's like what are those habits that we have of thinking Good thoughts about the, about our spouse.

Yes. I love that. And just started early in the morning, connect with your creator, enter my gates with Thanksgiving, my courts with praise. That's what Psalm 100 says, verse four and start there and then start thinking about and recognize that God's not just your father, he's your father in law. What thoughts does your father in law want you to have toward his son or daughter?

It's important. I like this, this, um, this sentence that they said there about appreciation daily. What keeps us from joy is the habit we develop of scanning our environment for problems to fix instead of looking for blessings to appreciate. Yeah, wow. That right there. Let me say that again, because this was really good.

What keeps us from joy is the habit we develop of scanning our environment for problems to fix instead of looking for blessings to appreciate. We got to fix that and, uh, and so, uh, appreciate daily. That's habit number three. You'll find what you're looking for. Yeah, that's habit number three in a joy filled marriage.

Habit number four, nurture rhythm. And what they mean by this is building in times of rest together. This is important, not, not resting apart. Obviously, you're, you're going to have times of resting apart, but you need to build in times to rest together. And Tori had mentioned this earlier, um, but the first and simplest reason the joy gap starts to expand, which means that you're not feeling as much joy in your relationship, is tiredness.

Yep. It's exhaustion. It's, it's hard to build joy when you feel worn out and a lack of margin. Right. But without a relational rhythm, your soul begins to wilt. Right. Like completely wilt. So you've got to have a routine to start and end your day. That nurtures a rhythm that naturally gives you margin with each other.

And so it's finding time to rest together. And that rest sometimes involves play, uh, the, what they said here that joy grows best when there is a rhythm of high activity. Whether that's work or play and you're doing it with each other as well as low restful activity. The key is just to nurture rhythms.

Obviously, Tori and I, you guys have heard us talk about this several times. We've done several podcasts on sex. Um, but being able to find out a rhythm for when you're going to come together in physical intimacy and knowing what that rhythm is. Once a week, twice a week, every three days, whatever that rhythm is for you guys, being able to have a rhythm establishes expectations.

It establishes boundaries and it all gives you guys an opportunity to rest and experience freedom. So rhythms in your relationship are extremely important. So true. So Dr. John Gottman said that he calls these master marriages, which for him is any marriage that lasts. More than six years because he, he saw that if most marriages that fail will fail in the first six years.

Mm. Um, obviously that's not foolproof, but he said that marriages that last more than six years and they still feel connected after that six years, he calls them joy bonded, and he said they had developed the habit of appreciation and entering into each other's joys. So you're entering into each other's joys.

Wow. And that is so incredibly important because even the Bible tells us that mourn with those who mourn, weep with those who weep, and And how does it say it? Rejoice with those who rejoice. Right. Like enter into their joy. Like what is the most important thing in your spouse's life right now that you know if it came true or if it happened, they would be elated, they would be over the moon.

Then you get in that with them. Doesn't matter what it is. And obviously we do that with our kids too. You know, so you share joys together. And the longer the gap between moments of shared joy in your marriage, the more fertile the soil for resentment. So the key is, shorten that gap. How are we going to do it?

With these four habits, we're going to play together. We're going to listen for emotion. We're going to appreciate daily. We're going to nurture healthy rhythms of rest together. Thank you authors of the Four Habits of Joy filled Marriages. This was a, this was a fun little review. That was so good. Yeah.

I'm glad that they ended with that rhythm of rest because if you're not rested, then you don't have, you don't have the energy for joy. Yeah. And so rest is so important in getting on the same page with your spouse. With what that looks like is really important too because I think a lot of times You know, I know at the beginning of our relationship, we weren't in a great rhythm and we didn't really know each other that well.

And so as we began to learn each other, we were able to like, to read, Oh, you know what? He needs a night, a night off. He needs like, this is a fat clothes and a movie kind of night. Fat clothes and a movie. And you begin to learn each other and, um, and it's just, it's a beautiful thing when, when you get on the same page.

This is how, you know, the, um, age demographic of our audience. When I say fat guy in a little coat and everybody knows who I'm talking about. You think everyone who's listening, I think every single person that I'm talking to here on our podcast. Um, I don't know I'm talking about. Fat guy in a little coat.

Richard. There's like two people that know what you're talking about right now. That is bull. If you know what I'm talking about, reach out to at Jason and Tori on Instagram and tell Tori, tell her, you know, are you going to give us a recipe? Yes. I'm going to give you a recipe. Um, okay. So Travis Taylor.

Thank you, Travis. Thank you. Travis gave me a recipe, a turkey meatloaf recipe. At CrossFit a couple weeks ago. Can I call a turkey meatloaf a turkloaf? You can, you can do that if you want to. Turkloaf. I'm gonna let you do that. Thanks for the turkloaf, Trav. And, um, it was really, really good. I love, I loved having it in the refrigerator all week.

It made great leftovers. Yeah. Um. It kind of bloated me a little bit, but it was worth it. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Um, so I'm gonna share it with you guys. Um, it, I felt like it was a little labor intensive, um, just because of all the chopping. There's a lot of chopped mushrooms. In it, which made it super flavorful and delicious.

Um, but if you have a little time to make a meal that takes a little bit of time, then you can do it. It's by inspiredtaste. net. And I will share it with you guys on Jason and Tori. Um, Instagram and you loved it. Who, so I think it was everyone, but love Lundy loved it. So, but you know, we're all, Trey loved it.

Trey came home from college. He loved it too. So it was a winner. And then again. Loved having some good protein in the fridge for the whole week. It made a ton. I doubled the recipe and we had, we ate turkey meatloaf for a week straight. Hey, but you know what I did? I actually took turkey meatloaf and then Tori had these roasted veggies, which you need to show what you did with those.

Those are the best veggies I ever had. I roasted, and this is shout out to Lindsay Johnson, Lindsay LJ who showed me how to do this. You take beets, fresh beets, carrots, and sweet potato, and just chop them up, put some olive oil, salt, and pepper, and just roast it. Like at 400 until they're roasted, I don't know, it's probably like 30 minutes or something.

That is a good combo right there. It was banging. Yeah. I love roasted beets. So what I did was I took the roasted veggies, I put that inside of it when I had the leftovers and Tori hates when I do this, I slapped some blueberries in there. Jason puts blueberries. Oh, it's so good. Yeah, it's interesting.

Everybody, you know, when I first got the idea, was when Earth Fare started selling that chicken salad with Cut up grapes in it and I was like, there's something about, you know, blueberries and everything. I think I'm going to put grapes and blueberries in everything. So it's really funny. There you go. All right.

Hey, thanks for hanging out with us. This was a, this was fun. Tori and I, we love doing our own content. We love doing interviews with people and we love doing like book reviews and stuff that we're learning. Yeah, this was really cool. I really enjoyed this one. So, and then maybe, maybe next podcast Tori can sing or something, or she can yodel.

I have a special number in my heart. She has a special number on her heart. Alright guys, we will see you soon. If you haven't been to beautyandbattle. com, go there, take our 5 day challenge. Great review and subscribe. There you go, you did it. Great review and subscribe. Share, we forgot to say share. Do share.

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