Beauty in Battle Podcast

Getting To The Heart Of Your Spouse

October 18, 2023 Episode 88
Getting To The Heart Of Your Spouse
Beauty in Battle Podcast
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Beauty in Battle Podcast
Getting To The Heart Of Your Spouse
Oct 18, 2023 Episode 88

Today's episode is taken from 1 Samuel 25 where a woman named Abigail shows us five keys to calling out the best in our spouse. She did it with her soon-to-be-husband, King David, and it literally magnetized him to her. 

You won't want to miss this one. Enjoy!

Show Notes Transcript

Today's episode is taken from 1 Samuel 25 where a woman named Abigail shows us five keys to calling out the best in our spouse. She did it with her soon-to-be-husband, King David, and it literally magnetized him to her. 

You won't want to miss this one. Enjoy!

Okay. So today's a fun one. We're going to talk about getting to the heart of your spouse, which basically means how to call out the best in your spouse. How to bring out the best in them. And we're going to pull it directly from first Samuel 25 in a story about how David's wife, Abigail brought out the best in him.

Actually, she did it before they got married, but we're going to show, uh, what she did, we won't actually go into the full story in the Bible. You can go to first Samuel 25 yourself, but I am going to point out. The five things that she did to bring out the best in her future spouse, but we can all apply those today.

I love that. It's so cool. I love how you can extract relational advice from scripture. And that's exactly what you did. You were talking to me about this today on our walk, and I was just, it's, I'm blown away at how, how much, um, we can learn just from. From reading the Bible. Yeah. Like it just amazes me. So, I'm excited about this, thank you for doing all the heavy lifting here and researching this.

So, do you have a song for us? I do. What do you got? You want us to guess what it is once, once it's played? Yeah. I'm gonna play it. Are you, how about, how about we guess the movie? Okay, yeah. That's so fun. Guess this movie guys, and every one of you should be watching it in the fall. Yeah. Which is now. That is true.

Alright. Go ahead.

That's such a good tune.

That's like the best college song ever.

It so brings 90s.

Oh, I love that. So it's Dreams by the Cranberries. Yeah, which is an incredible song. It's so good. It's such a great song and it's one of the opening songs in my one of my favorite fall movies. Yes. I have kind of like different movies that I like to watch different seasons and this one is the best in the fall.

Yeah. You've got mail. You've got mail. Um, it's, it's filmed in New York in the fall, the most fall vibe you'll ever get. Um, we've had it kind of in the background a lot lately. What's the blonde hair girl's name? Meg Ryan. Meg Ryan. Yep. And she was also in Sleepless in Seattle. Another one of my favorites.

That one I watched for Christmas around Christmas time. Yeah. Um, but I, I love that movie in the fall. It's just. It just gets you in, it gets you in your feels. Yeah, that, that, that song is from there and it is fantastic. Tori and I have watched you've got mail and now our daughter Lundy loves watching it and Lundy's favorite thing.

She wants to crawl in bed with us. Doesn't matter when she'll crawl in bed with us, like 10 30 at night. She's like, can you turn on you've got mail. She just wants to watch a few minutes of it. It's just hilarious. And Father of the Bride is another one that she loved. Although I will say that you have, you've got male, if you've got kids, like I wouldn't recommend watching it too young because there are some a little inappropriate things.

Oh, yeah, it is crazy. It's hard to get away from that. Growing up in the 80s and 90s, and I'm telling my kids about how amazing certain movies are, like Dumb and Dumber is the best movie ever, and I turn it on, I'm like, oh, snap. Yeah, exactly. Like, let's not watch it. Hey, by the way, VidAngel, just get VidAngel.

It's the best. The best invention of all times. Yeah. You can stream Netflix, Amazon, Apple, and I think maybe Hulu. You put all the filters on it, it will take away even kissing scenes and everything. So yeah, it's really good. Okay. Let's, uh, let's talk about first name of 25. Getting to the heart of your spouse, how can you call out the best in your spouse?

How can you help them become everything that God wanted them to be? Well, we're going to learn this from a woman named abigail who did it for david Now she did it before they got married, but she captured his heart and she captivated him so much That it's it's what made him want to marry her um quick backstory david basically was Out with his guys.

This is before he was king, but he was really popular. Word had already gotten out that he would be king one day. And yet at the same time, he's fighting the Philistines and the Israelites are basically falling in love with him. They're like, man, you are awesome. You're such a good dude. And David had attracted all of these, uh, men to him who were warriors.

They were, yeah, they were David's mighty men. And so there were 600 of them and they basically fought Israel's battles. So they were like Israel's bodyguard. And David sent a note to a very wealthy man named Nabal. And basically told him, Hey, like we've, we've been out here, we've been guarding, you know, your sheep, your flocks and everything like that.

We want to have a festival. Can we go and can you, would you mind giving us 10 sheep, you know, 10 lambs so that we can, uh, celebrate. And Nabal totally disrespected him. It was like, I don't even know who you are, you know, kind of thing. And David got so ticked off that he goes and he gets his men together and he said, let's go kill Nabal's household.

Well, Abigail comes out and she was in Nabal's household and she's basically goes and meets David and says, no, don't do this. And she gives, you know, food and all sorts of stuff and talks him out of it. But not only that, David was so impressed with her that later on in the story he ends up marrying her.

So what was it that she did? This is what we want to give to you. So she did five things and these are the same things that you can do for your spouse. So the first thing she did, she approached him with respect. That is the number one thing that a woman can do for a man. And you know what a man can do for a woman.

Yeah, it's so true. It's respect. Yeah. Uh, we talk about this in our book, um, just how important it is to, uh, or how, how God receives respect and how he re receives praise and glory is enter into my gates with thanksgiving and into my courts. With praise, we enter into his presence. With thanks and praise and that, and he's showing us how to do it with each other as well.

Like if you want the presence of your spouse, if you, um, want them to, to be drawn to you and to draw them in. Yeah. Do it with thanks and praise. Yep. Thank you. Lead with respect. That is so good. Cause I, I've, I've told so many wives, I'm like, you know, the same thing that God says to do for him, do for your husband, if you're struggling getting his presence.

And you'll get his presence. You thank him for what he does, praise him for who he is, make that a habit. Now, husbands, you also need to do this with your wife, right? Thank her for what she does and praise her for who she is. Right, right. These are so that it's so important. And what that does is it just communicates deep respect.

And God even tells us, excuse me, Paul tells us God through Paul tells us in Ephesians on how a woman needs to respect her husband and then a husband needs to love his wife. So this whole love and respect thing, there's a great book by Dr. Emerson and Sarah Egrets that is fantastic called Love and Respect.

I think it's one of the best top five, uh, marriage books there are, along with the five love languages. But, it's all about love and respect and that beautiful cycle. Women, uh, wives show your husband respect, husbands show your wives love. Love, love, love for a woman is priority. Respect for a man is admiration.

The whole thanks and praise stuff. So that is respect. Okay. So that was point number one. Can I add one more thing? Yeah. I was listening to a relationship podcast recently and. They brought up the point that it's okay to disagree. It's okay to argue. It's okay to disagree. But it's, but disrespect is not okay.

Like that has to be a rule in, in your relationship that we, we're going to disagree. We're going to, you know, we're, we're going to argue even, but we will not do it in a disrespectful way. And that's, I mean, of course that's much easier said than done, right? Like even this week. Um, I unintentionally disrespected you, I don't even know if you remember, but we, we were talking about something with one of our kids and I kind of like, Oh yeah, I remember.

Yeah. I kind of said something and it came across a little bit like I was disrespecting something about you, but I, I wasn't meaning to, it wasn't my intention, but I did. And you're like, and I could tell it just kind of hit you wrong. Really? And then, um, And I knew that I, that, that, that had come across as disrespect.

Like I was, uh, you know, and so anyways, I, are we making up on air right now? You're apologizing. I ask you for forgiveness, but I, um, one thing that I really, really appreciate. About that scenario is that I came to you and I was like, babe, I'm really sorry that came across wrong. And I think like earlier in our marriage that, you know, for, if I had disrespected you, it would have been, it would have taken a minute for you to be like, okay.

But you were like, no, I get it. I, I think I know what you were, it's not that big of a deal, but you were, you were able to receive from me that I had messed up. And then I knew that it came across disrespectful and I was sorry that it came across respectful. And I think that's also important, like we're going to make mistakes, but we really do like showing grace.

We're just going to continuously make mistakes and it's going to come across disrespectful. But if we can be like, I know it came across that way, I'm sorry. And have grace when that happens. Yeah. I just think that that's so important. I was just so appreciative that you were gracious with me and able to be like, it's, it's fine.

It's really not that big of a deal. I'm like, no. It was, I'm sorry that, that, that I said it like that, that wasn't right. And, and you were, you were graciously forgave My disrespect. And I think that's also important. Well, I falsely forgave it. I've been bitter since then. Not really, but I think one of the best ways to show respect is to assume your partner has goodwill toward you.

Yeah. You know, that's Dr. John Gottman says the same thing. So just assume goodwill on behalf of your partner. So that's number one, show respect. Like approach with respect. Number two, uh, there's what Abigail did for David and what we can do for our spouse. She reminded him of who he was. So Abigail reminded him, reminded David, she basically said, Hey, don't go and do this stupid thing.

And like. Kill all these people because one day you're going to be king. Like in a good king wouldn't do that. Like she reminded him of who he was. I can't tell you how many times Tori had to remind me of that. You know, when I'm getting all hot and heavy toward the kids and, and she just reminds me like has had had to remind me, you know, back when our kids were young and doing all sorts of stupid stuff.

Like, you're a good dad. Mm-hmm. like you. You are gonna have a great relationship with your daughters when they're older. Don't damage 'em now by being too harsh with them. You know? Like Yeah. You gotta remind, you gotta remind 'em of who they are. You gotta remind your spouse of who they are. Yeah. That's so good.

You've, and I, I think of the times that you've done that for me when you really believed in me when I don't believe in myself, when I haven't believed in myself. And I think in parenting, you really need that, right? Because like you really need to speak. Life into each other because there's so many hard and tough moments But when you see a moment where you see a tender moment between you know your spouse and maybe a child that they're struggling with like Capitalize on that and be like that was like what I saw the way that you responded that was like baller status Like I know that that wasn't easy for you because you felt disrespected or whatever.

It's like capitalize on the moments And call it out and then you did that for me during a season where I was really struggling with one of our kids We were just like at odds a lot. Yeah, just say it was it was Allie our teenage daughter now like She's she and I are just best friends and I just like looking back at that season It's like we're two totally different people.

Yeah Uh, in our relationship has completely shifted, but it was a season of just, it was really tough. Yeah. And you did such a good job. I mean, there was times where you were like, you need to like get your act together and like, you had to kind of like kind of snap me into place at times cause I was just about to lose my mind.

But other times you were like, you would, you would really, um, zone in on those moments that were spent, that were tender and you're like, did you see how, like she was responding to that. Like that was. That was really good. I know that's not easy and it was like fuel. It was like fuel. Like I can, I can do this.

He sees like you were seeing something in me that I didn't even see in myself and we're able to, to call things out. And I, and I think we just, we need that in our spouse so much more than we even know. Yeah. That's so true. Let's go to the third one, but let me give you the first two. So she approached him with respect.

Abigail did with David and this is how she won his heart. She approached him with respect. She reminded him of who he was. And we can do that with our spouse. Number three, she reminded him of what God was doing. So this is a little bit different. So the number two is when she, she reminded him of who he was, but now she's getting David in this, this third thing that she did to start focusing in on God.

She basically reminded David, Hey, listen, God's going to deal with your enemies. Yeah. You don't need to deal with your enemies. He's going to bring you into. A kingdom like God's gonna do this. He's giving you that promise. Now, let's believe in God. This is so key for Married couples because what we want to do is point our spouse to God Yeah, that way we make sure that they know we're not the ultimate solution, right?

You know if your spouse is going through something really difficult Yeah. God wants to meet their needs through you. So go be an encouragement, right? But ultimately they need to find their security, their trust, their faith, and their hope in God and God alone. So pointing to God is so incredibly important.

And I just love when Tori and I, we, we coach married couples and every now and then we'll hear one of the spouses say to the other spouse, like, you know, You really just need to go after God for this and really trust the Lord for this. And I love that because although it might sound cliche ish at times, but the fact is so true that you as a spouse, your job is to point your partner to the Lord because the Lord is the one who will meet their needs.

And what this will do for you is it relieves pressure on you. It relieves pressure. That's so good. And you know that scripture in, um, that talks about prophecy being the greatest gift. It goes through all the things, but the greatest is prophecy. That's like, we need to prophesy over our spouse. Like we need to speak life over them and show them where God is in the picture.

That's what prophecy is. Eternal perspective. Eternal, bringing that eternal perspective, showing. Pointing you back to God and then also believing in you. And, um, You know, we have, I have a really special friend, a childhood friend, Nicole, and she is very prophetic, and she has really taught us that, the importance of, of this, and she's done that to us, and it's encouraged me.

To do that with others and then with you and with the kids, like just to speak life over them. Yes, I love that. So she reminded David of what God was doing. So basically she gave David an eternal perspective. That is so quality, that is such quality work for a spouse to do. Okay, so that was the third thing.

The fourth thing, this is so good. She called out the warrior in him. She called out the warrior in David. And what I mean by that in terms of what we can do for our spouse is you call out the best in them. Right? So she not only Approached him with respect. She not only reminded him of who he was She not only reminded him of what god was doing and gave him an eternal perspective now She called out the warrior in him and you know what?

Listen, if someone's sick, they need a doctor if someone's ignorant, they need a teacher Right, but if someone's enslaved they need a warrior. Yeah And david was a warrior so good and I do believe that god is calling warriors I think all of us all of us should be warriors who worship, you know, we need to be worshipers And what I talk in my entrepreneurial, uh, um, company, expert ownership, we are all three things.

We're worshipers, we're workers, and we're warriors, right? We need all three of those things. And I think reminding your spouse that they're a warrior, like, no, you, you're actually strong. Yeah. You know, you are mighty. You can do this thing. Yes. You know, so it's, you got to remind them of who they are. Yes.

But you've also got to then given that eternal perspective, but then, you know, that's this fourth thing, reminding them of the warrior that they are. Tori did this for me when David and I were going through the whole HGTV situation. And I remember just being so discouraged because David and I were like public enemies, number one and two.

And, uh, people were just really coming against us and it was hard to go on CNN and all these other, you know, news organizations or news outlets and, and stuff and get our butts kicked. And, but then I just remember Tori, I don't remember the exact word she said, but she just came to me one day and was like, I think, you know, you're like made for this.

Like you, you guys are going to be used to help Christians stand strong for their faith. And you know, that really like. That did something in me. It not only called the warrior out of me, but it drew me close to Tori at the exact same time. It really felt strong in that moment. Yeah. And I think, you know, at a time where the world was just, just so hateful and you know, you had worked so hard to build a business that had a good reputation that your, your name was very important to you and to David.

And now your name is being smeared. Oh my gosh. It's true. Words like, you know, that are just so completely opposite of who you are, are being spoken over you, like you're hateful, you're, you know, you are homophobic and you're, yeah. All these, like, these words that they, they're trying, like they're trying to, none of it's true.

None of it is true and they're just pegging you with these words. Yeah. And um, and I just remember it was all, it was very weighty. And when you're, when you're being attacked like that with words, it's, it's more weighty than you, you think like you can, you know, these are people I don't even know. It doesn't even matter, but it was, it was tough.

And um, and it's funny that you say that cause I actually remember. Um, you know, you know, because for me it was, it was also hard for me. I think I was kind of like down about it too. Like, oh my gosh, like people are really going to believe these lies about the Benham name. And it's like this, like, how do you, like, that's my name now, like, how do you rebound from that many, you know, from that, that many lies going up, going around or whatever.

And, um, I remember my mom coming over cause she lives next door and she. I remember her just like speaking just truth in life to the situation. She's like, Jason and David were made for this. This is an Esther moment for them. They were literally God has been preparing them their entire life for this. And it was just like, when, when people speak life into you, it's it.

It's like you're fueled with this power And I remember feeling so fueled and I that fuel that I gave to you came from her words. Yeah, and it's just Just strikes me like just the power of words. Like I just remember feeling so energized like yes like this That's not that this is what is true. Yeah, this is oh my goodness.

Like yeah, let's do this and then Like coming into you and being like baby. You were you were literally made for this like you were born for this and Just I think looking back at that season I'm just like very struck with the power of words like that The words that you speak over your spouse are so much more powerful than you, you know, yeah I can promise you that like words are a lot more powerful than I think we even know and you speak to our subconscious as well as our conscious.

Yeah, that's so true. You know, in our, in our book, Beauty and Battle, Winning in Marriage by Waging a War, it's all about being a warrior. It's all about recognizing there's a battle. And we need to fight it and we can be victorious in it, you know, and being, calling out the warrior in your spouse, like fight for me, like, I'm going to fight for you, you fight for me and let's fight for us.

Yes. You know, that kind of thing. You can do that. Abigail did it for David and, uh, and it was powerful. So here are the four things, and then we'll give you the fifth. And number one, she, she approached him with respect to, she reminded him of who, of who he was. Number three, she reminded him of what God was doing.

Number four, she called out the warrior in him. And number five, this is important. She offered herself willingly to him. It's really interesting, right? When she gets to the end of basically telling David, Hey, don't go and do this thing. That's not who you are. Look what God is going to do. And he, she's calling out the warrior in him.

Then she says, In verse 31 of 1 Samuel 25, And when the Lord your God has brought my Lord success, remember your servant. She was basically saying, I'm, I'll be here waiting for you. And that is so good. You know, and I just think that's light at the end of the tunnel. Yeah. For a spouse. You know, and I'll just use this, this one example that Tori and I use with couples, you know, when, when we start talking, we've, we've done several podcasts on sex, we've talked about sex and all sorts of stuff, um, and on like keys to doing it right, not to specifically the act of it, the act of it, I don't know the right word, but thank you for putting that word in my mouth, but we're talking about just, just ways to.

To, to do it the right way to where you experience intimacy with each other and just a deep connection. And one of the things that Tori and I talk about is how a woman can easily use that as a reward, as a reward for her husband. Like, Hey honey, you know, like I need some help with this and we need help with the kids and let's get the kids to bed and so I can relax and all this kind of thing.

And if we're able to do these things, then. You know, at the end of the night, maybe that it could be possible, you know what I'm saying? And so we talked, well, we talked about how, um, early on in our relationship, we listened to a comedian who was talking about this and it kind of just like open up a whole new way of thinking for us.

Um, because he was like. God made a man to you know reward. Yeah to desire reward and not only that but They're highly your high man is highly motivated by his wife. Oh, yeah being intimate with his wife And so why would you not use that like? If a guy is being a jerk to their wife and they're not being tender and kind and then she just gives it up anytime Yeah, it's like he's not gonna work for it.

Yeah work for it. But if you're like you when you're kind and tender and Helpful like show your husband like when you treat me like that you get rewarded Yeah, like it just it and I think Then he says it in like a way funny way that yeah, but it but even brought his wife up and she said hey It actually works, you know, they specifically talked about how you're not using it to withhold You're not saying if you don't do this, then you won't get this right?

No, it's Okay, so yeah, I would like some help with the house if you can help me do the dishes and stuff like that. Well, then I'll have a reward for you. I promise you your husband's going to do that. It's a fun and playful way of doing it. It's not like a manipulative way. That obviously would be wrong, but You, you can use that thing inside of, you know, your husband that is highly motivated to help and highly motivated to be kind, right?

Because you're like, yeah, I need you. I'm going, this is what I'm going to need from you. And I promise you I'll make it worth it. So Abigail essentially told David, you know, she basically made herself available. Like, Hey, I'm available for you. And I just think this is really good for us as spouses to, to give our spouse light at the end of the tunnel.

You know, the, the person you married. Yeah, I'm still me, you know, when you do this, I'm still that person, you know, and making ourselves available to our spouse. So those five things she, you know, if, if you approach with respect, you remind your spouse of who they are, remind them of what God is doing, giving them an eternal perspective.

Number four, call out the warrior in them and number five, offer yourself willingly to them. And here was the reward for Abigail. She became the wife of a king, right? Like your wives, this is how a queen acts. That's right. Yeah. That's what I was gonna say. You know, wives, your husband is a king. Husbands, your wife is a queen.

Yeah. Now do these five things and you'll call out the king or queen in them. Yeah. Yep. And this is really important in Proverbs 12, 4 wraps it all up and says a wife of noble character is the crown of her husband. Yeah. And I just think of those two things working together. Yeah, it's really good. A crown on the head of a king, like it's all, if, if the crown's not there, people don't know he's king.

You know what I'm saying? And, and, and being a good king to call out the best in the queen. Yes. Like, and you're ruling together. Yes. It's just a beautiful picture. It is. It's so beautiful. Thank you so much for taking the time to research all that scripture. My pleasure, Tor. It's so funny. When you extract things from scriptures like that, so thank you.

Yeah, and I want to share so I'm not gonna actually share the actual recipe, but I want to tell you guys some, some tips about one of my favorite recipes that I made throughout the week, and that is pumpkin apple bread. Oh my gosh. That was the best I've ever had. Best I ever put in my mouth. No joke. I mean, it, it fell apart, but it was really good.

And that's why I'm not going to share with you the actual recipe yet because I haven't perfected it. Once I can get it to where it kind of stays together better, I'll share it with you. But the flavors. We're incredible. I don't think anybody even cared that it fell apart because it got devoured, um, I think I made like six loaves in the last two weeks, but I never once did I get it to where it didn't kind of fall apart.

So that's why I'm not sharing. Well, and I can't wear any of my pants anymore because they just don't fit. Six loaves, but I want to tell you guys what makes this bread amazing. So you, you guys, I want you guys to fix my problem and help me figure this out. You know, good and well, Travis Taylor is watching this right now.

And I find this very interesting. There are a lot of women out there that reach out to Tori and tell her that her recipes are awesome. But then we got a lot of dudes too, that reach out. I'm like, you guys are better husbands than I am. Yeah. I will say though, babe. I'm happy to cook. So long as you are happy to clean up, you all clean.

I make the biggest mess. And then Jason comes in and cleans it up. So it makes it a lot easier. Just remember boys reward system. Yeah. I cook for you. You clean for me. You clean for me. Um, okay. So pumpkin. Okay. I'm going to give you guys some tips to making this amazingly flavored, but, uh, pumpkin apple bread.

Tip number one. Instead of using canned pumpkin, get butternut squash that's already chopped up. You can get it like Harris Teeter in the produce aisle or Trader Joe's has it. I'm sure that most grocery stores have it where it's chopped up for you already because it's a butt kicker to, to chop up a butternut squash.

You need like a jackhammer. It's so hard. So anyways. You get that, you steam it, and put it in the blender, and use that as your like pumpkin puree. Yes, it's butternut squash, but it's a substitute for pumpkin. It's like in the same family, a lot of recipes that would call for pumpkin, you can use butternut squash.

That is confusing to me, but I tasted it, and it did taste like pumpkin. Yes, it tasted just like pumpkin, okay? And that's tip number one. I've made the bread with a canned pumpkin. It's just not as good. Okay. It is off the chain when you do it with the steamed. Also if you make pumpkin pie with um with the butternut squash Just a different ball game.

Yeah. Okay. To me, it's like, Hey, I have the best broccoli salad recipe, but don't use broccoli, use celery. So, okay. Then why do we call it broccoli salad? Just, just go with me guys. I'm with you. Make the bread and you'll, you will know what I'm talking about. Okay. She's right. It's really good. Is it not better than any pumpkin bread you've ever had?

And it tastes like pumpkin. Okay. Tip number two. Well, tip number two for making pumpkin bread. Don't make pumpkin bread without apple. Oh. Chunks of apple. Yeah. In pumpkin bread and maybe this is the problem with not slicing correctly because you got a lot of maybe. Yeah. But just do it because it's so delicious.

Yeah. Add chunks of apple. Don't even peel it. Just leave the skin on. Yeah. It's really good. And Jake, Jake went, um, apple picking so I had like fresh apples. Yeah, he did. So good. Okay. And you know, I just was thinking about pumpkin bread, like pumpkin bread, but if you had sourdough, yeah. And you walked past it and didn't take any, then you just punked your bread.

Oh my gosh. Was that not good? You just thought of that just on your own right there on the spot. Oh my gosh. I don't even know what you just said. I don't either. But can we just say that it is almost midnight here? It is, and I'm so tired. Can you just hurry up with this freaking recipe? Jason has never been up this late a game for Lundy, and it went long.

Yeah. Poor Jason. My right eye is closing. Yeah, and he's starting to act drunk. Okay, and tip number three. Go to bed. Please. Tip number three for the spices, okay? I told you guys about my chai tea. I shared it with you guys. Sabina, my amazing friend from India shared this recipe, the best chai tea. I'm drinking it right now and the spices in that tea are fresh ginger and fresh cardamom.

Yeah. Add those spices to your pumpkin bread. Wow. You have punked your bread. You have punked your bread. Jeez. Okay, we're definitely over tired. Spices. Those spices in the pumpkin. Tell me again. Was that not the best? No, it's the best I've ever had. Yeah. But if you, have you ever like just smell cardamom like in its own little.

I love it. Oh, it's terrible. It's the best. No, it's not. It's like toothpaste. I love the smell of cardamom. Oof. Sick. Okay. So anyways, cardamom, fresh ginger, those spices, and also use the pumpkin pie spice from like Trader Joe's. And while you're adding the spices, listen to the Spice Girls. Oh my gosh. So, stop.

Okay. Should I stop? Let's, let me close this one out, okay? Okay, sorry. Okay, and then a ton of cinnamon. Got it. But anyways, those are my tips for the best pumpkin bread. Add apples, steam your, it's literally glazed over. Um, apple, fresh apples, um, fresh butternut squash if you can. And cardamom and fresh ginger flavors are just that your whole house will smell like one word fall.

Yeah, because you're eating Indian spiced apple squash bread that we call pumpkin bread.

That's exactly right. All right, guys. This has been fun. We won't do another midnight podcast. Yes. Hey, those five things will get to the heart of your spouse. Approach with respect. Remind them of who they are. Remind them of what God is doing. That's eternal perspective. Call out the warrior in them. And then offer yourself willingly.

Those five things. And while I said that, I had four fingers poked up. So it's really time to go to bed. And I love you guys. It's fun hanging out. We'll see you next week. See you guys. Peace.