Beauty in Battle Podcast

Four Powerful Questions

December 27, 2022 Jason Benham, Tori Benham Episode 50
Four Powerful Questions
Beauty in Battle Podcast
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Beauty in Battle Podcast
Four Powerful Questions
Dec 27, 2022 Episode 50
Jason Benham, Tori Benham

Before oneness in marriage, you need two-ness - two healthy individuals to make up one healthy marriage. But it's not always so easy, especially when the chaos of life hits.

In this episode, we're going to look at four powerful questions you can ask yourself to help you become the best version of yourself.

When you're the best you individually, you can be the best us relationally. 


Show Notes Transcript

Before oneness in marriage, you need two-ness - two healthy individuals to make up one healthy marriage. But it's not always so easy, especially when the chaos of life hits.

In this episode, we're going to look at four powerful questions you can ask yourself to help you become the best version of yourself.

When you're the best you individually, you can be the best us relationally. 


So Christmas is over and Tori and I were like, come on, let's, let's just do this. Let's, let's hit another podcast. Yes, let's do it. . . We haven't been with you guys in a long time, I feel right. Mm-hmm. . No way. Well, and it has been a bit, yeah. You know, the last one we talked about was, um, overcoming Christmas chaos and talking about how the, the one day of the year where there are more divorce filings than just about any other is January 2nd.

Hmm. And so we went through this holiday season and Tory and I, by the way, our anniversary is in two days. Happy anniversary 22 years. Thank you. , happy anniversary. Back to you, I guess , is that how that works? And, um, so 22 years for us, but as we went through this Christmas season, we, we realized h how, like shopping for the kids and how going to parties and planning our own little get togethers and all that kinda stuff.

It was like having another job. Yeah. For both of us. Right. So the Christmas season is the best time of the year. Right. But at the same time, there's just, he. Tasks. Yeah. That brings heightened stress. I kind of feel like I just gave birth to another child, , that like the af you know, after you have a baby and you just feel like that, ah, you feel it's the best feeling ever after having a child.

All the moms know. Yeah. I've never felt that. Yeah. But you know, I can imagine it feeling like other things. I kind, I kind of feel like that right now. Like, oh, I can breathe. This is the best. It's over. Yeah. Well, and so Tori and I were. Because we were, we had been talking with other couples and all sorts of stuff, and we've been helping couples overcome, you know, like conflict.

That seems to be happening more around. The holiday season Yeah. Than any other time. And so it really got me thinking. And I, I was reading up on some blogs and all sorts of stuff and, and I, and I wanted to do a, uh, a podcast today on four powerful questions that each of you should ask in your own relationship.

So it's what you're gonna ask yourself. Yep. And these, these four questions are gonna help you become the best version of. So that when you do find yourself in situations where the, the stress is heightened, there are more tasks to accomplish. So, you know, Christmas 2023, you're gonna ask yourself these questions and you're gonna be prepared.

So the next time stressful situation comes, you're g you're actually gonna be a better version of yourself. Yeah, they really are a really good questions. But before we. Don't you have a song tour? You do. You have what? I have the song . Why don't you give the song ? Okay. This is such a good one. It's called In Case You Didn't Know by Brett Young.

It's a country one. Yes. It's one of our faves. It is so good. So here here's a little teaser. Little teaser case you didn't know, baby. I'm crazy. Would be if I see's life without you, even though I don't tell you all the time. You had


Yeah. Good. So good at right after c. . It's for Jason and I. It's always country music. Yes. Like we've been listening to, to, um, Christmas music nonstop, and then all of a sudden, the day after Christmas, we're ready for country music again. . . That's funny. I don't know what it is. It's like, okay, we're done.

Christmas music is over. We've been listening to it since October. the end of October. and that is a, that's a long time. It, this, that one is so good. In case you didn't know. And I feel like over the holidays it does kind of get, you know, you just, your focus is so much on other things. Yeah. That the relationship can tend to get.

Push to the back burner. I know that even you and I have been like, I feel a little bit disconnected. Like, yeah, we real, we need some time. We need some some connection points. Um, yeah. And um, so we, we got our country music back on. Yeah, we do. And we're moving towards some, we're asking the right questions and, and it's love these questions that you're about to share because our girls, uh, Allie and Lundy, both of them really like country.

And Trey now our oldest son, is starting to like country music. His girlfriend likes country music, but our younger son, Jake, he's 16, he's still not into it, but we're trying to get him into it. So our girls have been listening to some country music, so we just gotta get Jake in there. Yeah, so I'm all about trucks and boots and wranglers, although I don't have boots and wranglers anymore.

I haven't had that since Texas, but it does remind me of my roots. Anyway. We're talking about the four powerful questions that each of us can ask as it relates to, um, stress in our own relationship and our own lives and, and conflict in marriage. And so I wanna start with, with the first question. Then we're gonna go through each of these and then we're gonna park on the fourth and we're gonna talk about some strategies.

Okay. So you've come up, this is, this is proactive thinking. Okay, this is Tori and I. We can do this, uh, amongst ourselves. We're gonna proactively think about some things, uh, to help us become the best version of ourselves. So, question number one, what causes me stress? Hmm. So let's, let's just figure out right now what causes me stress.

So, fi find a time when you're not feeling stressed. Get with your spouse, and you guys ask yourselves this question, what, what typically causes me stress, you know? Yep. You've got to figure out why you feel overwhelmed at times. Mm-hmm. . Now granted, it is a, it's a human condition, so feeling overwhelmed is not something you're ever gonna be able to outrun, right?

There are times when you're just gonna feel that way, right? It's just the nature of the beast. But there are times when you've done it to yourself, so you need to ask yourself, what makes me feel overwhelmed? And I need to prep myself for that. Now, here's just one little thing my dad taught me when I was.

Because stress sometimes feels like, um, it, it can lead to anxiety and it feels like conviction. Hmm. You know, that, that you might be stressed about something because you actually feel convicted about something you need to stop doing. And I remember talking with my dad. I was like, dad, I just feel so guilty.

You know? I'm like a 14 year old kid trying to live a good life. But yeah, I feel guilty. Dad says, is it specific or general? I'm like, , I don't know. He said, well, do you, can you specifically think of anything that you feel guilty for? I'm like, no. And he said, I say, no, sir, because that's when he gives me the backhand.

Because you're a Texan. I'm a Texan. No, sir. And, uh, although I think every kid should say, no, sir, no ma'am. But, so I'd say, no. And, and no sir. And he'd say, okay, well, if it's not specific, Then that Satan. Yeah. God is a God of specificity, if that's a word. That is a word. Specificity. Like if God's gonna convict you about something and you feel stressed, you're gonna know exactly what it is.

Yeah. If it's just this overall general feeling that's Satan's playground. Hmm. He wants you just that, to have that general feeling. So stress and, and, uh, specifically when it comes to conviction is tied to something very specific. You know, stress is also tied to the number of decisions you make on a daily basis, right?

So if you're like, what makes me feel overwhelmed? Well, one of the reasons why Christmas is tough is because it increases the number of decisions that you have to make. Yeah, I watched you tour. Like, you literally planned all of these meals. You planned all of this stuff that we need to do with our trips.

You planned what the kids were gonna pack on these trips. We took, you planned all the, the, um, presents. Mm-hmm. . I mean, I, I'm such a loser. I didn't have to make any of these decisions. And you literally made all of these decisions. And I can just think if you weren't a healthy individual. Those would've thrown you over the edge and you would've become a till of the hunt as a wife

And you and I, as a result of Christmas, we might be visiting a counselor ourselves. Yeah, right. Yeah. I mean it, it is such a stressful time. With the decisions. Like I definitely caught myself several times overthinking dec, you know, so many different things. And I had to just constantly remind myself, okay, holy Spirit, you're my helper.

I need to make a decision to move on. Yeah. And um, but it, yeah, it, this is the time of year where it just, you can be so overwhelmed with decisions. Yeah. And you know, I, I, I think going back to that original question, this is question number one. If you're writing, then write this down. What causes me. What makes me feel overwhelmed?

Um, Tori's a good example of this. One of the things that she absolutely hates is feeling rushed in the morning. So, , if she feels rushed in the morning, that causes her stress. Mm-hmm. . And if she's feeling that stress, then it naturally, I'm feeling that stress. Mm-hmm. . So what Tori has started to do are two things.

One, she wakes up a little earlier than she used to and she gets her ducks in a row. Right. Two, we pushed back some things that we didn't need to do so early. Mm-hmm. . So by God's grace, I worked really hard in my business and one of my goals was, is to work out with Tory in the. . There was a time where I had to work out at five 30 in the morning.

Yeah. And then I'd come home, take the kids, and then she would go and do her workout. But we worked hard, systemized some things and got to a point where we could work out together. But as opposed to us working out at seven 30 in the morning, we decided to push that back as far as we could. Mm-hmm. , right.

So that we didn't have to feel rushed in the morning. Yeah. So the morning time could be a little more relaxing for us. Now granted, when our kids were a lot. There was no relaxation. Yeah. You know, we had to fight for that. So that was a season. There's survival seasons, there are thriving seasons. , that's a good way to put it.

But so, but what Tori had to know was what was causing her stress. And I remember her telling me that. She's like, it really stresses me out if I feel rushed in the morning. Cuz I was a morning guy, like pushing like, let's go seven 30, here we go. You know, I've been up for a while. She's like that. That really stresses me out.

So she just made a decision twofold. , I'm gonna wake up a little bit earlier. Two, I'm gonna push back some of the things that aren't as essential for me to do as early as I was doing them. Right. And that is just a beautiful thing. So you figure out, first that's, that's question number one. What's causing me stress?

Okay. Question number two, who do I want to be in that situation? Yeah, so good. This is really, really good. This is just self-awareness. Yeah. Who do I wanna be? Yeah. Who do I. , we don't ask that question enough. Mm-hmm. , we're just, we're just moving on. We're just doing life. And we don't, we don't pause long enough to say, who do I wanna be?

Yeah. So then next thing you know, you're, you're making all these decisions, buying presents for the kids. And then I come along and say, To let's go get ourselves coffee. And you go, what? Are you kidding me? I've been doing all like, and you respond, although you never did, but you could have mm-hmm. , and you respond like that.

Well, is that the person that you wanna be? Mm-hmm. , you know, are, is that the kind of spouse you wanna be? Where you snap back at your spouse when they're actually not even saying or doing anything that's out of line. Yeah. Do you want to be that person? Like who do you wanna be in that situation? Do you wanna be calm, relaxed, joyful, fully present?

Full of peace. Do you wanna be like, um, what we say in our entrepreneurial training company, expert ownership, you need to be a thermometer. Not a thermostat. A thermostat just reflects the temperature. So if it's cold outside, it's cold. If it's hot outside, it's hot. Which that would be the kind of person that if the stress is high, then, then they're blurting out stuff.

They shouldn't be blurting out. Mm-hmm. . If it's cold and distant, then they're cold and distant. It's cuz you're like a freaking thermostat. Yeah. You need to be like a thermo. , wait, wait a second. No, no, no. They're like a therm thermometer. You wanna be a thermostat. I screwed that up. . My, my mom would also get mad at me for saying freaking So sorry mom.

Rest in peace. So, but you need to be a thermostat. And a thermostat controls the temperature in the room. So if it's getting a little too hot, the thermostat cools it down. Yeah. If it's getting a little too cool, the thermostat warms it up. And what we say is that's the Holy Spirit. . You know, God is not gonna make you into a calm person.

He's not gonna do it. Right. You have to do that. Mm-hmm. , now he gives you the Holy Spirit that gives you the ability to do that, but the Holy Spirit's not gonna come in and just start talking through you and start doing things. Now you have to make decisions. Mm-hmm. to say, okay, I'm not gonna blow up. I'm gonna be this kind of person.

And then you actually have to do that through discipline. So that, that's an important question to ask. So it's what's causing me stress. Okay. Now let's think about what causes me. Who do I want to be in that situation? Okay, question number three. You ready for question number three? Tor please. How would it feel if I was that person?

Hmm. Now this is important. Yeah. Because the question, this question unlocks the power of your emotion. Yep. So emotion, if you guys remember from one of our earlier podcasts, emotion is an impulse to act. For instance, anger is an emotion with a purpose. Anger is a good emotion. That's God, God's. God is a God that can get angry.

Right? Well, what is the impulse to act for God if he gets angry? It's to see justice done. Mm-hmm. justice according to his standard. Right. Fortunately, God poured his anger out on his own son, which is why Jesus said on the cross, God, why have you forsaken me? Like Jesus felt that emotion because God had to pour his anger out on Jesus.

Yeah. So that now we don't have to experience the anger of God, which is just an amazing. But anger is an emotion with a purpose. So when you tap into the power of emotion, it gives you an impulse to act. That's why the question isn't just who do I wanna be in that situation? The question, which is the third question here is how would it feel if I were that person?

So picture yourself in a situation where it's just crazy in your house. I can just think of Tori and I back when our kids were a lot younger and there were four kids running around in the house. and I can remember some times where I did not respond. Mm-hmm. the proper way. I actually reacted. I didn't respond at all.

Mm-hmm. , I, I had some very bad reactions. Um, but if I can think back to that, and if my kids were still that in that, uh, age bracket, what I would do at this moment is picture myself being calm. Mm-hmm. picturing myself handling the situation, you know, dealing with things in a calm, cool, collected manner. Now, how would that.

When ultimately the kids do end up getting back into line, you know, and I'm going to bed that night and I didn't snap. Yeah. I didn't have to, I didn't have to apologize for anything. How would that feel if I went to bed with a clean conscience? Amazing. . Yes. No guilt. No guilt. Mm-hmm. , nothing but gratitude.

Yeah. Just so many great feelings, but you tap into that emotion. Yeah. You know, self respect versus what you feel like when you lose it and. . You, you ha you don't process anything. You just let it all go. Yeah. Well, and you know, Satan loves that because when you do snap, when you have given in, um, that's what damages self-love, you know?

And, and, and I'm talking about self-love. I'm not talking about in love with self. Mm-hmm. self-love is way different because the, the first and second commandment, two greatest commandments, love the Lord to dear God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and the. Is to love your neighbor as yourself.

Mm-hmm. , the presupposition to loving your neighbor is that you love yourself. Right? You're not in love with yourself. That it's all about pride, but you love yourself, which is, I accept who I am and who God made me to be. Mm-hmm. and because of decisions that I've made, I actually like where I'm at in life right now.

You may be in a position where you don't like where you're at in life. Make good decisions today. Yeah. It'll get you where you need to be in life. Right. Okay. And then what you'll find is you'll actually like that. , you know, you're not gonna like everything about that person cuz you still got a flesh in you, but you'll like that person.

So how would it feel if you're in a stressful situation and you're responding calmly, be that person. Mm-hmm. . So that's, that's the third question. So lemme give you three questions real quick and then we're gonna move to the fourth. What is causing stress? Like what in, in your life, who do I wanna be in that situation?

Number three, how would it feel to be that person? And number four, what can I do? to make sure that I feel that way. Hmm. So what can I do? It's, it's questions two and three go hand in hand. Who do I want to be in that situation and how would it feel to be that person? Yep. Question four is now how, what can I do to, to be that person?

Yeah. What can I do to feel this way? Yep. Take action. Yeah. What is it that I'm gonna do? Mm-hmm. . And so I go back to that example I used of view where, uh, mornings were kind of a stressful time for you and, and what you realized. Being rushed in the morning causes serious stress in you. Right. It didn't cause as much in me, just cuz I was a natural morning person and I was kind of used to getting up and just running.

Right. But for you, you wanted to. Read your Bible, drink your tea, kind of thing. I didn't want it to wake up. . Jason wakes up and he's awake. I'm out. I'm ready. I open my eyes and I'm not awake for another, at least a good hour. Yeah, but you walking dead. You should tell him what I'm like around. Try to have a conversation with me at 10 at night.

Yeah. You know, 10 o'clock at night, that's not happening. No. And in the first few years of our marriage, Tori would get so mad at me. Mm-hmm. , she would, you would really feel like, like if I really loved you, I'd be listening. And I'm like, you don't understand my voice. Put him to sleep. Yeah. And , the sound of her voice made my eyelids so heavy.

it's like one eyelid starts to close more than the other. It's so funny cuz at night I put 'em to sleep and in the morning I. I cannot, I can't process what you're saying. I don't know what's happening. I have to wake up before you. He's like telling me all these amazing ideas. I know I gotta slow down what we're gonna do that day.

And I'm like, holy cow, , give me a minute. She's giving me the cross symbol to get away. So that fourth question, what can I do to feel this? . You know, here are some practical things that you can do. One of the things that you can do to, to become that person that you want to be, that's not gonna freak out in stress.

One of the things that you can do is make your priorities very clear. Hmm. You know, there, there are times when you've just said yes to too many things. You need to actually prioritize and make those priorities very clear. You can do it with your spouse. That, here's one thing that's really important to me, I wanna do this.

You know, or whatever. It's, it's prioritizing is extreme. Valuable. We talk a lot about the concentric circles, you know, where even Jesus himself, he had concentric circles of relationships, that his closest relationship was John, you know? Then it was the next level was Peter, James, and John. You know, he brought them up to the Mount of Transfiguration.

He didn't do that with the other nine disciples. Then the next would be the, the, the 12 Discipl. . And then other than those 12 disciples, it moved out to the 70 disciples. And, and Jesus poured himself into, into these people, but in different levels. Hmm. So we do have to prioritize. Who is it that that's gonna be able to get you on the phone with one phone call?

Yeah. Mm-hmm. . And who is it that's not ? Yeah. You know, like maybe there's, you're, you're answering a call that you should not be answering because you're putting false pressure on yourself because you don't have your priorities straight. Hm. . So that's the first thing. The other is try moving at a slower pace.

Yeah, we, uh, have some really good personal friends, um, Tanner and Britney Hoy. They're fantastic. I mean, they're, they're extremely healthy couple and we've been talking with 'em for a while and, uh, and they both are like really early risers. Mm-hmm. and they, I mean, they're, they get more done. They go getters.

They're, they get more done than just about anybody I know, right. And we were asking 'em about their workout schedule and all this, and they're like working out when it's pitch black at night, you know, before their kids get up at five in the morning or five 30 in the morning or whatever. and I remember talking with them about the value of maybe just slowing down.

Mm-hmm. and we were talking with them late one night and I said, why don't tomorrow morning you, you guys just, just sleep in? And, and I love the reaction, especially from Tanner cuz it was so foreign to him. Mm-hmm. to hear somebody like me, you know, who's like always like, get up early and get your stuff done.

I'm like, you guys just sleep in like right when you wake up. Don't get up, just roll over and like hug each other and just stay there in that moment for a little bit and just kind of sleep in and just enjoy the morning or whatever. , and then he, they text us or they sent us a slack the next day. Like, it was so great.

This was so cool, you know? Yeah. And obviously you can't live your life like that, right? That's a little bit of a reward. And it felt good to them because they're such high achievers and they go and they, they stay, uh, on their schedule. But sometimes if you really do want to control the type of person that you are in a stressful situation, start moving at a slower pace.

It's like you ever tried reading a book running on a treadmill at, at like level 10? Yeah. . Yeah. Like, no, I haven't , have you? Great question to her. Nope, not me, but Yeah. But it's so true. It's, it's so important that you value. Relationship. Mm-hmm. at this, in the same way that you value hard work in the same way that you've, there's so many things that we just naturally value mm-hmm.

but for you and I, we have had to learn to value things that, you know, naturally didn't seem valuable. Like watching a movie. Yeah. Me stopping what I'm doing. in the middle of the day in, in a, in the middle of a productive day where I have like a plan and I'm, yeah. And then, but actually dropping everything because, just spontaneously, because you and I need some connection and we just need to relax.

We need to turn our brains off. And seeing that as valuable. Yeah. You know, it's, can I preface. Sure, yeah. Watching a movie in the middle of the day is something that I, so foreign, it's so I would do just as a reward. I started when I started writing books. Then I would get up early in the morning and write 'em from about five in the morning until about noon.

Mm-hmm. . And then we'd hit a workout, and then after that my brain is fried. I can't do anymore. Right. So around two o'clock I'd be like, Hey, tour. You wanna watch a little show or something, but for Tori that was productive time. Yeah, exactly. But I'm obviously this is like, you know, once in a blue moon, but it is so important.

For us to do that once in a blue light. Oh yeah. Like it, and, and it seems not va it seems so natural. Like in my mind I'm like, that is so dumb. I cannot take time to do that right now. So dumb. You know what I mean? But as you and I, it's funny, have like began to see our relationship as just truly valuable.

Like, you know what? Dropping everything. We have another couple, um, Andy and Zach. Yeah. Who did this the other day. She was in the middle of her. You know, she had just been working so hard, closing deals with real estate and they just needed some, some time together. She dropped everything. Yeah. And they went kiting together.

Okay. Yeah. In, um, kiting, what's it called? Kite surfing. Kite surfing. Yeah. Yeah. It looks so cool. In Florida was, I live in Florida. Um, it looks so much fun and they just spent the day kiting and she had to do a bunch of ketchup work when she, you know, the next week and, but yet, She saw that as valuable and she was able to drop everything and enjoy it.

Yeah. And enjoy her husband. And, you know, sometimes we just need a break from reality and just to do something out of the ordinary with our spouse for to, for connection. Yeah. And, and not to feel guilty about it, not to feel unproductive, but to feel product, feel like this was so productive. Like, yeah, me taking an hour or an hour and a half to do this with you.

Like it should feel really good. Yeah. It shouldn't feel like you just wasted time. Yeah. It's, you know, we have to get to a point where we start to see our relationships as that valuable. It's, that's what we did when we were dating. Right. When you're dating, it's like it was productive that I went and picked you up from your house and we went to dinner.

Yeah. You know, and then I brought you back. It's like that four hours that we were together. That, that was like productive for me, right? But then we get married and we're like, no, I got so much I gotta do. I gotta do this and this. And it's like, no, stop. Right? You need to reprioritize, learn how to say no more, you know?

And you're not really saying no to other people or other things. You're actually saying yes. Yeah. To the things that are most important. That's why you gotta get priorities straight first. Then you have to choose to slow yourself down. And the way that you do that is you start saying no more so that you can say yes.

You know, I love Andy Stanley's book. It used to be called Choosing to Cheat. Now I think it's called The Greatest Question. Oh, really? He changed it. Yeah. Uhhuh. Um, but it, it's all about making decisions. Yeah. And he said, with every decision that you make, someone is going to feel cheated. So every time you say yes to something, someone is going to feel cheated.

You know, the person that you had to say no. Was gonna feel cheated. Yeah. So you have to choose who that's gonna be. Yep. So just choose the right person. Hmm. You know, and then don't have any sense of guilt. Yeah. Associated with that. It's like, you know what? I'm choosing my wife and kids and Yep. I can't do that thing.

I can't make that meeting. I can't do that guy thing or that girl thing, or whatever it is. But, uh, and you might feel cheated, but you're just gonna have to feel that way. And then I would say if your friends feel like. choose new friends. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Like the friends that you need to have that are close to you, especially when you're married and you got kids, need to be people who are going through the same life, uh, situations that you are, and if they make you feel guilty that you can't do things with them or when you are with them that you multitask them.

Yeah, if they can't handle that, choose new friends. like, sorry buddy, we're having a really tough conversation. You're too high maintenance for me right now. I need low maintenance friends. You know, cuz we're so busy. So, but anyway, tho those are the four questions. What is causing me stress right now? Or what does cause me stress or makes me feel overwhelmed?

Number two, who do I want to be in that situation? Number three, how would it feel if I was that person? And number four, what can I do to feel. , what can I do to be that person? Practical things when we do that. Then the Christmas 2023 might look different than Christmas 2022. Yeah. You know where you're proactively working on yourself.

able to help, help create the, the type of person that you want to be in your relationship. And it's, it's, it's a good place to be. So good. Just self-awareness. Yeah. I mean really all those questions are just, you know, pausing and being self-aware. I love that. Yeah. So, so good. Um, so I don't have a recipe that I'm gonna share.

No, but I'm going to tell you guys what I loved. I think the best this week was our lasagna. Oh, that was really good. Lasagna is just so. You know, it's simple on the box. You can, you know. Exactly. You know what, Jason, you sat there and, and read me how to layer it. Yeah. While we're making it. So I'm not gonna, uh, share an actual recipe, but I am gonna share some tips.

Oh. Um, So tip number one, when you're choosing a pasta for lasagna. Cause we really don't do pastas often at all. Right? I mean, this might have been like our first lasagna of the year. Yeah. It's a surefire way to end up with a nice little bloat, , . But you can, you can make it healthy. And um, so tip number one is get a pasta that was made in Italy.

Oh, that is. In Italy, they don't use this. The pesticides and all the things that we do over here. And so you are much safer using, if it says made in Italy, which you can find one pretty much at any grocery store, um, then that is the best choice. Not to be confused with. Made in little Italy , that's much different than made in Italy.

I've never, I've not seen a box that says Made in Little Italy. Well, I was just trying to help our listeners here tour. That was nice. That was really sweet . and then till when used Tillamook CH Cheese, Tillamook is the bomb. It is so good that none of their farmers use any hormones. It's a amazing cheese.

It's very clean. It's a good option. Yeah. So, um, and then instead of using ricotta, I used this good culture cottage cheese now that it was a ball, it was the ballgame, it was delicious. It worked. Um, there's this brand called Good Culture and they have a sour cream. They have cottage cheese. They have different things.

Um, dairy products that have, um, that are cultured, that have the good probiotics in them. And um, so I've been getting that and it's all organic as well. And so this particular cottage cheese had 14 grams of protein. Per serving. Geez. So you just got a lot of protein today. I did build that, build that muscle.

thank you to, um, and then we just used grass-fed beef. Um, and I used a, um, a local sausage niece's local sausage. Yeah. So it's a clean, um, me as well. So anyway. It was, it was really, really delicious. It was all organic and it, you know, did give us a little bloat, but you can find the, some cleaning ingredients because I ate three plates full

Maybe I should slow that down. Maybe, maybe not. It was really good, you guys. The great thing about lasagna is you can freeze it. So we had college kids coming into town, so I froze one. And um, it's super easy to just, you know, take out of the freezer and pop back out in the oven. So, hey, you know, speaking of, we had college kids in town and we went to Boone, North Carolina for a couple days.

Well, it was supposed to be a couple days, um, with my brother and his family and all their kids, and it, we got there, it was like 46. And then when we woke up the next morning, it was negative six degrees. It had snowed and we got a winter advisory that said we needed to get off the mountain . Yeah.

Essentially cuz it was negative 35 degree windshield. And then you called the the lady and she's like, we have had some cars fall off the cliff . Yeah, it was like a cliff driving down the driveway. So it was probably a quarter mile long drive. But there was like a cliff on one side of it and she said, please be careful.

We have had some cars that have slid off now, it, it's not a cliff to where it was like a hundred feet or anything like that. We probably would've hit some trees and gotten pinned. But I'm like, okay. So we had to take off early , the last 100 yards of that downward driveway. I literally was sliding. Yeah. I was not, I, I had my foot on the brake.

I was trying to pump the brake and I was going, I was probably only going. eight or 10 miles an hour. And then there was a truck coming down, oh my God. Road. And I was like, I just threw up a quick prayer. The kids were like, are we okay? I'm like, yep, we're good. No problem. But the whole time I'm like, I can't steer.

And I, oh my goodness. by God's huge semi-truck, by God's grace. Uh, there was enough flat, um, driveway before I went out into the, into the road. Got funny. Got T-boned. Yeah. And Jake. , our 16 year old, he wouldn't get in the car with us. He wanted to like, help navigate . So he was like, at least I'm gonna live

Yeah. If this goes bad. And he was kind of direct, you know, like getting in front of us or screaming out the window. Get out of the way, James. Yes. So it was, it was an adventure. We survived and then David and Lori's family were behind us and um, Jake was trying to help them. It was just, it was pretty comical.

We survived and, and Tori made the best gingerbread, molasses, cookies I've ever had in my life. You have to share that recipe. Ooh, okay. Maybe I'll do that next time. They were pretty, pretty good. Pretty banging. All right. Hey, thanks for hanging out with us. We missed you guys. Listen, we'll get back, you know, in the new year on a nice little regular schedule.

But thanks for hanging out with us. Don't forget rate, review, subscribe, and, um, we love you. We do, you know, I don't really ever know how to end things, but. If we love you, , Hey, go dance with your spouse to that song. How about that? Brett Young. Brett Young. In case you didn't know, in case you didn't know . I'm just gonna repeat everything you say.

Uh, don't, please don't do that, . That's really cheesy. All right guys, we'll see you next week. See ya.